Originally written Spring 2009
“Des Moines police: Babysitter flees as thief hides”
The Des Moines Register covered the Tuesday, March 31, 2009, arrest of a man who reportedly stole a car from a woman in Des Moines, fled from police, and hid inside a building. Once arrested, he was found to have cocaine hidden in his sock. He is charged with second-degree theft, second-degree burglary, possession with intent to deliver illegal drugs, and eluding police. He is being held on $66,000 bond.
According to police, Conall Robinson, 38, of Minneapolis, stole a car belonging to Christine Taggart, 37, of Des Moines. Robinson drove the car away, and police pursued him. Robinson then ran inside a building to hide, where Virginia McMillian was babysitting. Police said McMillian ran out of the apartment and told officers where Robinson could be located. Once he had been arrested, the officers said they found “individually wrapped pieces of crack cocaine” in Robinson’s sock. The police took Taggart to the scene of the arrest, where she identified Robinson as the person who took her car. She then drove the car home.
After reading this story, I have several questions involving Robinson, Taggart, and McMillian that were left unanswered by the reporter that covered this arrest. I want to know more about Robinson’s past encounters with the law, as well as why he was even in Des Moines considering he’s from Minnesota. I want to know more information about the alleged car theft, and definitely more information about the site of the arrest and the babysitter.
First of all, Robinson could have past run-ins with the law, considering he not only stole a vehicle, but he also ran from the police and hid in a building. He also had cocaine on his person. From my perspective, this is probably not his first arrest. I did a trial courts search in both Minnesota and Iowa using the name “Conall Robinson.” In Minnesota, the names that resulted from the search were “Cornell Robinson” who was born in December 1970—which fits the age the news story provides for Robinson, even though the first name is different. It could be the same Robinson for whom I was looking. The crimes of Cornell Robinson occurred between 1991 and 2006, and they involved cocaine, theft, burglary, disorderly conduct, drug paraphernalia, fleeing a police officer, weaponry without a permit, crack cocaine, violation of a restraining order, theft from a person, impersonating an officer, theft of a vehicle, kidnapping, assault, robbery, marijuana, driving after revocation, and loitering with intent to sell. There are 22 cases for Robinson. I’m not sure if this is the same Robinson, but these crimes seem to fit. In Iowa, according to Iowa Courts Online, my search resulted in four cases: three were for Cornell Robinson, and one was for Conall Robinson. Two of these cases involved the city of Des Moines. An important bit of information that I found is that the birthdays for Conall and Cornell Robinson are the same, which provides evidence for me that the two names are for the same person.
If this is the case, the charges in Robinson’s cases are pretty damning. I want to know why this man is out in public, especially in Iowa. I cannot view all of the details of his cases so I do not know all of his punishments, but surely there is something that could prohibit him from being in Iowa? He seems to be a repeat offender for a few of his past arrests, especially theft and cocaine—is he in Des Moines for a drug sale? Why is he in Iowa? Shouldn’t there be more information said about him in the news story? This isn’t his first arrest; this would be about his 27th or so. What’s going to happen to him? The Des Moines Register doesn’t say—they simply state that he is being held in jail on $66,000 bond (which I thought was high before I read his previous criminal history). Will there be a trial? Could he go to jail? What’s the deal? The story doesn’t tell me.
The story also doesn’t tell me much information about the cocaine that was found on him. It seems strange to me that a man kept it in his sock after the whole business of allegedly stealing a car, running from the police, and then hiding in a building. Why didn’t he throw it out so as not to receive another charge against him? I understand that it’s potential money but if he’s about to be arrested anyway, shouldn’t he have hidden it or something prior to being arrested? And how did the police find it anyway? Did Robison walk with a limp or something due to the crack cocaine, so they checked his feet? Which foot was it on? How much crack was stuffed in his sock and how big was it? What made the officers notice the cocaine? The news story doesn’t say anything about it.
I also want to know more about how he allegedly stole Taggart’s car. How did he steal it? Was the car locked or unlocked? Did Robinson break a window? Was a window rolled down? Did he somehow have the keys? The story doesn’t have an interview with Taggart or Robinson to straighten this out. Why did Robinson steal it in the first place? He is in Iowa from Minnesota, so I’m assuming he had some access to transportation. Did anybody ask Robinson why he took the car? Was it just something to do because he could easily get in the car, or did he just really want it for a disguise while selling drugs? We don’t know. Did he damage the car? The story says Taggart drove her car home from the scene of the crime, so it couldn’t have been too damaged. Was the car examined first or anything? Perhaps Robinson had cocaine in both socks and some fell out of his other sock and it’s in the car? I need more information.
I also did a trial court search on Iowa Courts Online for Taggart just to see if there was anything interesting; there were seven results for a Virginia Taggart that was born in October 1961—which fits the age provided by the news story. I could only read a little about the cases, some information for them wasn’t provided, but she did have a ticket for using a vehicle without registration. This doesn’t tell me too much about Taggart but it does tell me that this isn’t the first case involving her car.
Finally, I want to know more information about McMillian, the babysitter. In the news story it says that she was babysitting and “ran” out to police to tell them where Robinson was hiding. I want to know how old she is. In an attempt to find her age, I did another Iowa Courts Online search for Virginia McMillian. The birth year is 1961, so if this is the same McMillian, she is about 48. I want to know if she really “ran” outside, or was she slower, and more careful? And when she “ran” outside, did she take the child(ren) with her or did she leave the child(ren) in the apartment? Who was she babysitting anyway? Where they young children? Is she related to them? How many were there? Did she see Robinson or hear him? Did he know she saw him? Did he break into the apartment she was in? I want more specifics so that I can find out more about her.
One person that commented on this story online said that McMillian must be a hero if she took the kids out with her and saved them. Was she more heroic than the story leads readers to believe? Finally, I looked into her cases which totaled 36, though some were for her children who were juveniles at the time, but most were cases against her: prostitution in 1993, driving without a license or permit more than 6 times, an issue involving a rental property, 5th degree “criminal mischief,” a violation of financial liability coverage, and more that I didn’t read due to the length of her record. So, basically, I want to know who let her babysit the kids—Is McMillian fit, rather, to do so? She has a lot of issues with driving legally, obeying traffic signs and whatnot, so is she driving these kids around? I suppose not all these questions are needed since she isn’t the main person in this story, but her records do make me question her babysitting job.
Along with this, I find the headline—“Des Moines police: Babysitter flees as thief hides”—misleading. It says to me that either the babysitter is the main person in the story or that the babysitter seemed afraid and fled. It doesn’t say she ran out to tell the officers about Robinson’s whereabouts. A better headline is needed. Also, I’m not sure the photo of the African-American Robinson is necessary.
It seems to me that this story is a skeleton of what the real story should be. It has the backbones but nothing else. The extra information the Des Moines Register left out is necessary to fill the whole body of the story.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Who's Your Daddy?
Originally written 2/18/11
Dan McCarney’s daughter arrested for assault on police officer
The Iowa City Press-Citizen and the Cedar Rapids Gazette covered the arrest of a former Iowa State University football coach’s 21-year-old daughter in Iowa City on Saturday, February 14, 2009. Originally arrested for keeping a disorderly house, Jillian Kristina McCarney reportedly swore at, threatened, and tried to kick and strike the peace officer with her shoulder. She was then charged with assaulting a police officer as well.
McCarney reportedly repeated her status of Dan McCarney’s daughter, threatened that her father would take physical action on the officers, and told the officer that her charges would be dropped because as a McCarney she has “a lot of money.”
Both papers did give background information on Dan McCarney, but only the Gazette reported her release on the morning after her arrest. After reading the Press-Citizen I found myself asking many questions about the arrest—questions that were also left unanswered by the Gazette. I want to know more information about both Dan and Jillian McCarney.
Neither newspaper article addressed Jillian McCarney’s intoxication level and temperament, the number of responding officers, her relevance to the news, information about her, the reason behind her release from jail, and her friends’ and family’s responses.
Jillian McCarney reportedly boasted of her father’s status and said some rather bold things to the officers. I want to know if she was drunk at the time of her arrest, and if she was I want to know what her blood alcohol level was. Was she highly intoxicated or was she sober? Her words are even bolder if she was sober.
If I were the reporter for either newspaper, I would have asked the police officers what her state of mind was, if she was irate and disheveled or calm and orderly. Neither article actually gives her temperament. I assume she was angry and intoxicated, since she attempted to strike an officer with her shoulder and kick with her left leg. But I don’t know for sure.
I would have asked the officers how many officers responded to her disorderly house, which officers arrested her, and who called the police on the disorderly house. Was she throwing a party, were there other people there, does she have roommates?
I also want to know why her arrest was worthy of a news story. I understand from both newspapers that her father Dan grew up in Iowa City, played football here and was later an assistant coach, became the head football coach at ISU, and is now the University of Florida’s football defensive line coach and assistant head coach. But what relevance do his Iowa City connections have to her arrest?
I am from Texas and as such, I had no idea who Dan McCarney is. It was helpful that both articles included back matter on McCarney’s career; however, I failed to see Jillian’s importance in the news. Many young adults are arrested in Iowa City during the weekend and are listed in the police blotter.
If Dan McCarney had been arrested, that’s news. If Dan McCarney had commented on Jillian’s arrest using threatening and negative phrases against the officers, that is news. Aside from her father’s career, what makes Jillian’s arrest worthy of its own news story?
According to search results of the University of Iowa website, a Jillian McCarney is listed as running and placing in the 29th River Run at the age of 20. I would find out if she is active at the university or in the community, what her major is, if she has a job and where. I’d like to look up the towns she has lived in, and why she is a student at the UI. If she is very active in volunteering or somehow works to better the community, it is then newsworthy to report on her arrest.
I also would have checked the jail records to see why she was released, as reported by the Gazette. The Press-Citizen reported that assaulting an officer can land the person up to a year in prison as well as fined $1,500. I would have found out if she was fined and if she will be sent back to jail after a trial perhaps.
According to Iowa Courts Online, Jillian McCarney has four cases: her disorderly house, her assault on peace officers and others, a speeding ticket in 2006 for which she was found guilty, and one under the case name of another individual. No other information is stated in these records, but it does report that her assault’s sentence date is “null.”
Dan McCarney doesn’t appear to have any arrest records in Iowa Courts Online, but I’d like to know his stance on drinking and arrests on young people. Did he have a history of working with troubled youth while in Iowa City or elsewhere?
The Press-Citizen reports that they reached Jillian by phone, but she said she had no comment. I would try to contact her roommates if she has them and other people who were around during her arrest. Their information and observations could be important. I would definitely try to contact her parents to find out their reactions to Jillian’s arrest.
I want more information and a longer story. I understand the Gazette’s shorter story; their article was published the day after the arrest. However, the Press-Citizen’s story was published the Monday after; they had one more day to gather information, and they only had two more grafs—one about her grandfather and a sentence that said she had no comment.
Neither article reported enough. Both failed to go beyond brief information. Their inability to dig deeper and report those facts leaves me unsatisfied as a reader, as well as a journalist.
Dan McCarney’s daughter arrested for assault on police officer
The Iowa City Press-Citizen and the Cedar Rapids Gazette covered the arrest of a former Iowa State University football coach’s 21-year-old daughter in Iowa City on Saturday, February 14, 2009. Originally arrested for keeping a disorderly house, Jillian Kristina McCarney reportedly swore at, threatened, and tried to kick and strike the peace officer with her shoulder. She was then charged with assaulting a police officer as well.
McCarney reportedly repeated her status of Dan McCarney’s daughter, threatened that her father would take physical action on the officers, and told the officer that her charges would be dropped because as a McCarney she has “a lot of money.”
Both papers did give background information on Dan McCarney, but only the Gazette reported her release on the morning after her arrest. After reading the Press-Citizen I found myself asking many questions about the arrest—questions that were also left unanswered by the Gazette. I want to know more information about both Dan and Jillian McCarney.
Neither newspaper article addressed Jillian McCarney’s intoxication level and temperament, the number of responding officers, her relevance to the news, information about her, the reason behind her release from jail, and her friends’ and family’s responses.
Jillian McCarney reportedly boasted of her father’s status and said some rather bold things to the officers. I want to know if she was drunk at the time of her arrest, and if she was I want to know what her blood alcohol level was. Was she highly intoxicated or was she sober? Her words are even bolder if she was sober.
If I were the reporter for either newspaper, I would have asked the police officers what her state of mind was, if she was irate and disheveled or calm and orderly. Neither article actually gives her temperament. I assume she was angry and intoxicated, since she attempted to strike an officer with her shoulder and kick with her left leg. But I don’t know for sure.
I would have asked the officers how many officers responded to her disorderly house, which officers arrested her, and who called the police on the disorderly house. Was she throwing a party, were there other people there, does she have roommates?
I also want to know why her arrest was worthy of a news story. I understand from both newspapers that her father Dan grew up in Iowa City, played football here and was later an assistant coach, became the head football coach at ISU, and is now the University of Florida’s football defensive line coach and assistant head coach. But what relevance do his Iowa City connections have to her arrest?
I am from Texas and as such, I had no idea who Dan McCarney is. It was helpful that both articles included back matter on McCarney’s career; however, I failed to see Jillian’s importance in the news. Many young adults are arrested in Iowa City during the weekend and are listed in the police blotter.
If Dan McCarney had been arrested, that’s news. If Dan McCarney had commented on Jillian’s arrest using threatening and negative phrases against the officers, that is news. Aside from her father’s career, what makes Jillian’s arrest worthy of its own news story?
According to search results of the University of Iowa website, a Jillian McCarney is listed as running and placing in the 29th River Run at the age of 20. I would find out if she is active at the university or in the community, what her major is, if she has a job and where. I’d like to look up the towns she has lived in, and why she is a student at the UI. If she is very active in volunteering or somehow works to better the community, it is then newsworthy to report on her arrest.
I also would have checked the jail records to see why she was released, as reported by the Gazette. The Press-Citizen reported that assaulting an officer can land the person up to a year in prison as well as fined $1,500. I would have found out if she was fined and if she will be sent back to jail after a trial perhaps.
According to Iowa Courts Online, Jillian McCarney has four cases: her disorderly house, her assault on peace officers and others, a speeding ticket in 2006 for which she was found guilty, and one under the case name of another individual. No other information is stated in these records, but it does report that her assault’s sentence date is “null.”
Dan McCarney doesn’t appear to have any arrest records in Iowa Courts Online, but I’d like to know his stance on drinking and arrests on young people. Did he have a history of working with troubled youth while in Iowa City or elsewhere?
The Press-Citizen reports that they reached Jillian by phone, but she said she had no comment. I would try to contact her roommates if she has them and other people who were around during her arrest. Their information and observations could be important. I would definitely try to contact her parents to find out their reactions to Jillian’s arrest.
I want more information and a longer story. I understand the Gazette’s shorter story; their article was published the day after the arrest. However, the Press-Citizen’s story was published the Monday after; they had one more day to gather information, and they only had two more grafs—one about her grandfather and a sentence that said she had no comment.
Neither article reported enough. Both failed to go beyond brief information. Their inability to dig deeper and report those facts leaves me unsatisfied as a reader, as well as a journalist.
Before the Burial
Originally written 5/12/2009
How journalists uncover the truth when covering the murders of children: The Kehoe family incident
In late October 2008, a woman and her two young sons set out for an evening away from their home in Coralville, Iowa, to Sumner. Originally reported missing by the father Eugene, the family was found the next day after the injured woman went to a home and said that her sons “were in danger.” Later, the youngest son was found dead outside the family’s van, and the older boy was found severely injured inside it.
Michelle Kehoe, 35, her sons Seth, 2, and Sean, 7, were found near a pond by the Hook ‘N’ Liner Sportsman Club in Littleton, Iowa. Michelle and Sean were injured and taken to hospitals for surgery, but Seth was found dead at the scene.
The family’s van was undamaged and parked near the pond. At the time, the public did not know what happened to the family, how Seth died, or why the family was at the pond and not near Sumner.
The Tuesday after the incident, the Cedar Rapids Gazette published a story about it, and on Wednesday the Des Moines Register did too. Although the two papers reported most of the same information the closed-mouth officials said, the papers reported from different circumstances—sometimes using very different writing styles—and included extra information that the other did not report.
The Cedar Rapids Gazette published its first story about the incident on the Tuesday after. Orlan Love, the Northeast Iowa Bureau Chief for the paper, covered the incident after visiting the scene of the crime.
“Unknowns overshadow the known facts in an incident in which a 2-year-old Coralville boy was killed Sunday or early Monday near a remote pond southeast of this Buchanan County hamlet,” the lede said. The reporter Love framed his story with this in mind.
Love has worked 17 years as a journalist, 16 of them at the Gazette. He said he has covered many children’s deaths, including the recent winter deaths of four children in a fire in a rural Greenly farmhouse. Most of his child-death stories have involved automobile accidents, however.
He lives 32 miles north of Cedar Rapids and works from home. Love first heard about the Kehoe family incident from his editors. He said he believes his editors might have found out about it from police scanners. The editors told Love to “get up there to Littleton.”
Because Love handles the stories in Northeast Iowa and is closer to Littleton, he was sent to cover the story. Initially, Love didn’t know that anyone was killed, let alone a child.
He said he arrived to the scene of the crime at Hook ‘N’ Liner around noon on Monday, Oct. 27.
“[It] was so unseasonably cold that most of the reporters sat in their cars with the engines running while awaiting the press conference,” he said.
At least half a dozen news media organizations were waiting at the scene. Love said it was difficult to report the story because the police wouldn’t let reporters get to the actual crime scene. Everything was blocked off, and the area was secure.
“It was a hard story to cover because law enforcement had so thoroughly cordoned off the scene, blocking access to the neighbors who might have seen or heard something and, especially, to the neighbor whose home was visited by Mrs. Kehoe when she reported her version of the incident,” Love said.
Although the media grouped around the blockade to hear information from officials, Gazette reporter Love didn’t talk much to other reporters.
“[I figured] they have more to learn from me than I do from them,” he said.
During the middle of the afternoon, the press conference occurred. Michelle was not named a suspect. As the day wore on, and when the conference was over, Love’s curiosity sparked. Officials worded things carefully.
“The police said earlier that people were not in danger, kind of like they already knew who [committed the crime],” Love said, mentioning that that could have meant someone in the family, especially the mother, could have done it. “It was kind of like they knew the mom did it. That raised suspicions.”
How did Love feel about Michelle possibly killing one son and severely injuring the other?
“You try not to lean toward anything,” he said. “Certainly, the thought entered my mind.”
Love said that because there were questions in his mind, he chose to write his story to match that attitude: what was not known was actually more important than what was known.
Following his lede, the next graph started with “What’s known is that…,” and it was then followed by the much larger graph that began “What remains to be learned, at least by the public, is…” Even the headline begins with “Family tragedy a mystery…”
An interesting three graphs at the end of the story included information from Carol Trueg, the president of Regina Catholic Education School, who said Sean is a first grader at the Iowa City school. A statement from her said that they’re thankful Sean is alive, and their prayers go out to the whole family. She also said the school children weren’t aware of the incident yet, but that counselors will be available to children after they’re notified.
The Gazette reporter Love did not find this information himself.
Although not included with his story, Love said he had help from another Gazette reporter. Because the story was from a while ago, he can’t remember for sure which reporter helped him, but he said he thinks it was Gregg Hennigan.
According to Love, Hennigan “did the digging in Coralville,” and emailed information to him. Love said he is proud that the Gazette uses reporters in the Coralville/Iowa City area.
When asked about the case, Hennigan confirmed that he was the reporter that helped Love and gave Love the Trueg information. Hennigan has been a professional journalist for five years, and has been at the Gazette for three. He said he has covered a “decent” amount of deaths.
Hennigan said he can’t remember exactly how he figured out that Sean Kehoe went to that school, but he knew Carol Trueg and called her up.
Hennigan said Trueg was willing to talk.
“It was a difficult situation, of course, but from what I remember, she answered every question she could,” he said. “I wouldn’t say she was comfortable, given the situation. But who would be?”
Hennigan asked her the “most basic” questions first.
“Did they go there, age, grade, teachers, is there a photo, etc?” he said. “And then I work my way into the tougher questions—what were they like, did you know the parents, what have you told students happened, how are they taking it?” He said that Trueg actually asked him what he knew about the crime because she didn’t have a lot of information.
When covering these types of stories, Hennigan said he tries to be as sensitive as possible, while still trying to get as much information as possible. The same goes for when he interviews parents. He said he usually says that he is trying to give readers an understanding of who the person was besides this horrible event that just happened.
“And that’s the truth,” Hennigan said. “You have to remind yourself that these people have just been through a tragedy and balance that with trying to do your job.”
Love said that in covering children’s deaths, the Gazette tries to present a complete story without infringing unduly upon the grieving family.
“I always make an effort to speak with the parents, prefacing my call with an expression of sympathy and understanding if they don’t want to talk with me,” he said. “We also usually try to speak with other relatives, school officials, and classmates in an effort to find out something personal about the deceased.”
Love said he did not hold anything back when it came to reporting about the boy’s death. But “that was not a dilemma since so little was known.”
Erin Jordan from the Des Moines Register reported her story from her office in Iowa City. Published the day after Love’s story, she had results from Seth’s autopsy that was released Tuesday. “Boy, 2, died of stabbing injuries to his neck,” ran her story’s headline. The autopsy said he died of “sharp force injuries.”
She said she’s written several stories about children dying, “unfortunately.” These stories usually involve talking to a family member, if possible, to find out about the child’s personality, what he or she liked to do, she added.
“I’ve always wanted to make any person who has died seem more like a full person than just a statistic,” Jordan said. “You also want to talk with law enforcement about the person’s guardians to see whether they have criminal records.” She’s been a full-time newspaper reporter for 11 years and has been with the Register for nearly six, she said.
Jordan found out about the Kehoe incident from a report in another newspaper, maybe the Gazette, she said. “I believe we were following [that report].”
When she wrote her version of the incident, it took her about seven to eight hours to report and write.
Because her story came out the day after other newspapers, she had those stories to look at too.
“I think there was a pervious story, so I had some basic information,” she said.
According to Jordan, she called the sheriff in the county where the incident occurred as well as Iowa City police to talk about the incident in which Kehoe drove into the river. She did a number of phone interviews and looked at court records online. She tried to talk to the father, Eugene, but she doesn’t think he returned her call, she said.
“This story was some time ago and the details are a little fuzzy,” Jordan said.
She did not write, however, any information from anyone other than officials, though she previously said a reporter should try to talk to family members and other people to make the child more than a statistic.
“If I recall, I didn’t have time to contact other family members or neighbors,” she said. “I did a good deal of time that day trying to track down what happened in Northeast Iowa.”
Jordan said the Des Moines Register normally reports details of the deaths of children by “trying to talk with family members, neighbors, school principals, etc.”
“It all depends on the time and the circumstances of the case,” she said. “As you might imagine, it’s much more sensitive to talk with family in a case like this where another family member is accused of injuring a child.”
In the case of the Greenly fire that killed four children, Jordan said she talked with the kids’ grandmother and a neighbor who called 911.
The most interesting part of Jordan’s story about the Kehoe case, aside from the “sharp force injuries” to the dead child’s neck information, was in the twelfth graph. Jordan reported that Coralville police had one other call from the Kehoe house prior to the incident.
“That was on Jan. 20, when Coralville took a medical call about Seth getting ‘caught on a treadmill.’ The boy had cuts on his stomach, but was not taken to the hospital,” the graph said.
Jordan said it’s “just normal reporting protocol” to check for criminal records through Iowa Courts Online and to seek other police calls for service. She said she did not hope to find anything specific when she made these checks. She said she had asked Iowa City police whether there were any other incidents involving the Kehoe family or calls for service at their house. The treadmill report came from that request.
“I wasn’t sure what to think about the treadmill report. I have young kids and they often get minor injuries and treadmills are exciting for almost any child,” Jordan said. “On the other hand, I wanted to report it to the public and let them decide whether it was relevant.”
When it came time to write her story, Jordan said she tried to remain unbiased.
“It is definitely a sad case that left one child dead and tore apart a family,” she said.
How journalists uncover the truth when covering the murders of children: The Kehoe family incident
In late October 2008, a woman and her two young sons set out for an evening away from their home in Coralville, Iowa, to Sumner. Originally reported missing by the father Eugene, the family was found the next day after the injured woman went to a home and said that her sons “were in danger.” Later, the youngest son was found dead outside the family’s van, and the older boy was found severely injured inside it.
Michelle Kehoe, 35, her sons Seth, 2, and Sean, 7, were found near a pond by the Hook ‘N’ Liner Sportsman Club in Littleton, Iowa. Michelle and Sean were injured and taken to hospitals for surgery, but Seth was found dead at the scene.
The family’s van was undamaged and parked near the pond. At the time, the public did not know what happened to the family, how Seth died, or why the family was at the pond and not near Sumner.
The Tuesday after the incident, the Cedar Rapids Gazette published a story about it, and on Wednesday the Des Moines Register did too. Although the two papers reported most of the same information the closed-mouth officials said, the papers reported from different circumstances—sometimes using very different writing styles—and included extra information that the other did not report.
The Cedar Rapids Gazette published its first story about the incident on the Tuesday after. Orlan Love, the Northeast Iowa Bureau Chief for the paper, covered the incident after visiting the scene of the crime.
“Unknowns overshadow the known facts in an incident in which a 2-year-old Coralville boy was killed Sunday or early Monday near a remote pond southeast of this Buchanan County hamlet,” the lede said. The reporter Love framed his story with this in mind.
Love has worked 17 years as a journalist, 16 of them at the Gazette. He said he has covered many children’s deaths, including the recent winter deaths of four children in a fire in a rural Greenly farmhouse. Most of his child-death stories have involved automobile accidents, however.
He lives 32 miles north of Cedar Rapids and works from home. Love first heard about the Kehoe family incident from his editors. He said he believes his editors might have found out about it from police scanners. The editors told Love to “get up there to Littleton.”
Because Love handles the stories in Northeast Iowa and is closer to Littleton, he was sent to cover the story. Initially, Love didn’t know that anyone was killed, let alone a child.
He said he arrived to the scene of the crime at Hook ‘N’ Liner around noon on Monday, Oct. 27.
“[It] was so unseasonably cold that most of the reporters sat in their cars with the engines running while awaiting the press conference,” he said.
At least half a dozen news media organizations were waiting at the scene. Love said it was difficult to report the story because the police wouldn’t let reporters get to the actual crime scene. Everything was blocked off, and the area was secure.
“It was a hard story to cover because law enforcement had so thoroughly cordoned off the scene, blocking access to the neighbors who might have seen or heard something and, especially, to the neighbor whose home was visited by Mrs. Kehoe when she reported her version of the incident,” Love said.
Although the media grouped around the blockade to hear information from officials, Gazette reporter Love didn’t talk much to other reporters.
“[I figured] they have more to learn from me than I do from them,” he said.
During the middle of the afternoon, the press conference occurred. Michelle was not named a suspect. As the day wore on, and when the conference was over, Love’s curiosity sparked. Officials worded things carefully.
“The police said earlier that people were not in danger, kind of like they already knew who [committed the crime],” Love said, mentioning that that could have meant someone in the family, especially the mother, could have done it. “It was kind of like they knew the mom did it. That raised suspicions.”
How did Love feel about Michelle possibly killing one son and severely injuring the other?
“You try not to lean toward anything,” he said. “Certainly, the thought entered my mind.”
Love said that because there were questions in his mind, he chose to write his story to match that attitude: what was not known was actually more important than what was known.
Following his lede, the next graph started with “What’s known is that…,” and it was then followed by the much larger graph that began “What remains to be learned, at least by the public, is…” Even the headline begins with “Family tragedy a mystery…”
An interesting three graphs at the end of the story included information from Carol Trueg, the president of Regina Catholic Education School, who said Sean is a first grader at the Iowa City school. A statement from her said that they’re thankful Sean is alive, and their prayers go out to the whole family. She also said the school children weren’t aware of the incident yet, but that counselors will be available to children after they’re notified.
The Gazette reporter Love did not find this information himself.
Although not included with his story, Love said he had help from another Gazette reporter. Because the story was from a while ago, he can’t remember for sure which reporter helped him, but he said he thinks it was Gregg Hennigan.
According to Love, Hennigan “did the digging in Coralville,” and emailed information to him. Love said he is proud that the Gazette uses reporters in the Coralville/Iowa City area.
When asked about the case, Hennigan confirmed that he was the reporter that helped Love and gave Love the Trueg information. Hennigan has been a professional journalist for five years, and has been at the Gazette for three. He said he has covered a “decent” amount of deaths.
Hennigan said he can’t remember exactly how he figured out that Sean Kehoe went to that school, but he knew Carol Trueg and called her up.
Hennigan said Trueg was willing to talk.
“It was a difficult situation, of course, but from what I remember, she answered every question she could,” he said. “I wouldn’t say she was comfortable, given the situation. But who would be?”
Hennigan asked her the “most basic” questions first.
“Did they go there, age, grade, teachers, is there a photo, etc?” he said. “And then I work my way into the tougher questions—what were they like, did you know the parents, what have you told students happened, how are they taking it?” He said that Trueg actually asked him what he knew about the crime because she didn’t have a lot of information.
When covering these types of stories, Hennigan said he tries to be as sensitive as possible, while still trying to get as much information as possible. The same goes for when he interviews parents. He said he usually says that he is trying to give readers an understanding of who the person was besides this horrible event that just happened.
“And that’s the truth,” Hennigan said. “You have to remind yourself that these people have just been through a tragedy and balance that with trying to do your job.”
Love said that in covering children’s deaths, the Gazette tries to present a complete story without infringing unduly upon the grieving family.
“I always make an effort to speak with the parents, prefacing my call with an expression of sympathy and understanding if they don’t want to talk with me,” he said. “We also usually try to speak with other relatives, school officials, and classmates in an effort to find out something personal about the deceased.”
Love said he did not hold anything back when it came to reporting about the boy’s death. But “that was not a dilemma since so little was known.”
Erin Jordan from the Des Moines Register reported her story from her office in Iowa City. Published the day after Love’s story, she had results from Seth’s autopsy that was released Tuesday. “Boy, 2, died of stabbing injuries to his neck,” ran her story’s headline. The autopsy said he died of “sharp force injuries.”
She said she’s written several stories about children dying, “unfortunately.” These stories usually involve talking to a family member, if possible, to find out about the child’s personality, what he or she liked to do, she added.
“I’ve always wanted to make any person who has died seem more like a full person than just a statistic,” Jordan said. “You also want to talk with law enforcement about the person’s guardians to see whether they have criminal records.” She’s been a full-time newspaper reporter for 11 years and has been with the Register for nearly six, she said.
Jordan found out about the Kehoe incident from a report in another newspaper, maybe the Gazette, she said. “I believe we were following [that report].”
When she wrote her version of the incident, it took her about seven to eight hours to report and write.
Because her story came out the day after other newspapers, she had those stories to look at too.
“I think there was a pervious story, so I had some basic information,” she said.
According to Jordan, she called the sheriff in the county where the incident occurred as well as Iowa City police to talk about the incident in which Kehoe drove into the river. She did a number of phone interviews and looked at court records online. She tried to talk to the father, Eugene, but she doesn’t think he returned her call, she said.
“This story was some time ago and the details are a little fuzzy,” Jordan said.
She did not write, however, any information from anyone other than officials, though she previously said a reporter should try to talk to family members and other people to make the child more than a statistic.
“If I recall, I didn’t have time to contact other family members or neighbors,” she said. “I did a good deal of time that day trying to track down what happened in Northeast Iowa.”
Jordan said the Des Moines Register normally reports details of the deaths of children by “trying to talk with family members, neighbors, school principals, etc.”
“It all depends on the time and the circumstances of the case,” she said. “As you might imagine, it’s much more sensitive to talk with family in a case like this where another family member is accused of injuring a child.”
In the case of the Greenly fire that killed four children, Jordan said she talked with the kids’ grandmother and a neighbor who called 911.
The most interesting part of Jordan’s story about the Kehoe case, aside from the “sharp force injuries” to the dead child’s neck information, was in the twelfth graph. Jordan reported that Coralville police had one other call from the Kehoe house prior to the incident.
“That was on Jan. 20, when Coralville took a medical call about Seth getting ‘caught on a treadmill.’ The boy had cuts on his stomach, but was not taken to the hospital,” the graph said.
Jordan said it’s “just normal reporting protocol” to check for criminal records through Iowa Courts Online and to seek other police calls for service. She said she did not hope to find anything specific when she made these checks. She said she had asked Iowa City police whether there were any other incidents involving the Kehoe family or calls for service at their house. The treadmill report came from that request.
“I wasn’t sure what to think about the treadmill report. I have young kids and they often get minor injuries and treadmills are exciting for almost any child,” Jordan said. “On the other hand, I wanted to report it to the public and let them decide whether it was relevant.”
When it came time to write her story, Jordan said she tried to remain unbiased.
“It is definitely a sad case that left one child dead and tore apart a family,” she said.
Monday, May 3, 2010
The Post of Shame
This is the highly esteemed Dr. Hunter, showing how ashamed he is of the following errors from CNN.com. He is too appalled to even say, "Woof."
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May 3, 2010:
"West Valley police say Josh Powell is they only person they's looking at, but they are not calling him a suspect in his wife's disappearance. They say they have no physical evidence of foul play."
--From this article. No, this isn't a quote from a source in the story. CNN must not be doing "they's" editing as well as they ought to... CNN later fixed "they" error about three hours after the original post.
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May 18, 2010:
"Calling law enforcement accounts 'absurd,' a Michigan attorney sued police Tuesday in the death of 7-year-old girl killed during a raid in Detroit."
--From this article. The problem I have with this sentence is that there should be either an "a" or a "the" in front of 7-year-old. Something so simple really ate me up inside.
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June 1, 2010:
"Shortly after midnight on May 22, Kibuishi arrived at the Herr's home, where she was shot and killed by Wozniak, police said."
--From this article. Did Kibuishi arrive at Herr's home, or the home? Pick one, CNN.
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June 5, 2010:
"With his family by his side at his Colorado Springs home, Haggard is expected to a make 'surprise groundbreaking' announcement, according to a news statement Tuesday."
--From this article. Sounds like "a" trouble to me.
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June 10, 2010:
"Van der Sloot, who was twice arrested in connection with the disappearance of Alabama teen Natalee Holloway in Aruba in 2005."
--From this article. Van der Sloot was arrested. Duh.
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June 10, 2010:
"'This is one of the worst social networking sites that we've encountered.,' Cuomo said at a news conference in New York City."
...
"In a statement sent to CNN, Tagged General Counsel Louis Willacy the company was working 'closely and cooperatively' with Cuomo's office to come to a quick resolution 'in the best interest of our members' safety.'"
--Both from the same article. I can't believe there's a period in the first quote, and I'm giggling since CNN left out the "said" in the next graph.
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June 12, 1010:
"Anthony Alvarez, 36, had been holding authorities at bay since Tuesday." (Photo caption)
...
"Reporters on the scene said the operation began with a 'flash-bang' designed to disorient the suspect, identified as Anthony Alvarez, 26." (Supporting Graph)
--From this article. Someone didn't double check...
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March 25, 2010 (Found by Mallory on June 12)
"During the six hour standoff police tried all they could to get him out of his house. They first called him on a phone, then used a loudspeaker and finally brought in the tear gas. Still, he still wouldn't budge."
--From this article. Still, CNN still didn't double check.
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June 14, 2010:
"The only other inmate in the area is alleged Colombian hit man Hugo Trujillo Ospina. The two have spent some time together in a common area where there is a television set and weights made of out of broomsticks and soda bottles, authorities said."
--From this article. Just pick one: "made of broomsticks" or "made out of broomsticks." You can't have both, CNN.
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June 16, 2010:
"Police said after the initial shooting, Wolfe drove from to her grandparents' home in Hempstead, about four miles away, where she had an argument with her grandfather 'about insurance papers.' When Wolfe's 56-year-old uncle intervened, he was shot multiple times and killed, police said."
--From this article. Icky mistake.
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June 19, 2010:
"Slayton said he was shocked by the FBI visit because until then he didn't know about Jaycee was his daughter."
--From this article. Slayton didn't know about Jaycee, or Slayton didn't know Jaycee was his daughter.
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June 19, 2010:
"But Mississippi's courts have been slow to deliver justice for in the deaths of Bertha Tardy, the store's owner, and employees Carmen Rigby, Robert Golden and Derrick "Bobo" Stewart."
--From this article. The courts have been slow to deliver justice for the deaths, or in the deaths.
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June 21, 2010:
"Authorities have labeled the case a criminal investigation, On Friday, they released a flier seeking information on Kyron's stepmother."
--From this article. We just need a period, please, to end the first thought. Not a comma.
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June 21, 2010:
"Redding had a role in a 2005 independent film and had also taken courses at an area college. She also worked part-time at a tapas bar in Venice."
--From this article. I don't think we need the word "also" two times to understand that she had a lot of activities.
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June 21, 2010:
"Daves could not be reached for comment Monday. But in his affidavit, in addition to saying that Wright nearly caused a collision, Daves wrote that ' (the) defendant stopped in the ER entrance and jumped out and ran.'"
--From this article. No space before the beginning of the quote, please.
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June 22, 2010:
"A nutrition watchdog group is threatening to sue McDonald's if the fast-food giant won't stop using toys to to lure children to its Happy Meals ."
--From this CNNmoney.com article. Two errors! Sheesh!
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June 23, 2o1o:
"Meanwhile, a judge was expected decide on the legality of van der Sloot's incarceration Wednesday, his lawyer said."
--From this article. Expected to decide.
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June 24, 2010:
"'At this point, the police bureau does not consider this an ongoing investigation unless new evidence is received in the case, said Wednesday's police statement."
--From this article. There was only one quote mark. Was it legitimately a quote, or a paraphrase? Regardless, there needed to be proper quotations, if necessary.
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Hunter is not amused.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Whoa, Wait, What? Where's the News?
On April 13, 2010, the Iowa City Press-Citizen online posted an article entitled, "Robbery, home invasion reported." Obviously, the story was about recent robberies and home invasions in Iowa City. The problem with this article was that the story was not really news, or rather news in the form the Press-Citizen provided.
First of all, when I read the headline, I was confused. Isn't a robbery and a "home invasion" ultimately the same thing? Just to double check, I checked Dictionary.com. Basically, to sum it up, a "home invasion" occurs when a burglary takes place "while the residents are at home;" and a "robbery" usually involves violence of some form during the burglary. I understand the slight difference; however, the headline doesn't really give me a story. A home invasion and a robbery aren't particularly uncommon things in Iowa City. There really isn't an angle. Maybe a headline that took a more investigative approach would have been better. If this following statement is true, something along the lines of, "Police: Robberies highest in decade," or something that really gives readers more information than just "Robbery, home invasion reported." This is more of a statement than a news headline or story in itself. This would have been better suited to a little blurb on a police blogger.
When it comes to the actual story and information, the article was a bit dry. The information is interesting, but the reporter didn't seem to do any work to get it. The article reads like a police report because it just says what allegedly happened. The reporter did no crafting to this article--it read like word vomit. It was strictly informational and therefore heavy and boring. Even with a story about robberies, a reporter can still frame the story in an interesting way to keep readers reading. Reporters need to do their jobs so that readers can do theirs, i.e. reporters need to do some reporting, rather than vomit up information given to them.
Along with this, the article has no interviews or quotes, not even from officers. The story obviously came from a police report or something. If this information was given to me as a reporter, I'd have found it interesting--so interesting that I wouldn't just vomit up the information, I'd attempt to actually report on these incidents. Interview people, see if there's a real pattern, go deeper than the obvious. There is no real news value because no reporting was done by the "reporter."
Editorially speaking, I want to know why the races of the robbers were included. I could see it being important if officers are still looking for the suspects. But in all of the robbery examples, the reporter notes the suspects' races, but he does not elaborate on the alleged victims' races. There were also photos attached to this story. The last robbery example gave the alleged suspect's name, though the reporter declined to give his race. This is important because the previously mentioned suspects were described in detail.
All-in-all, this story was really disappointing. I wish the reporter had actually done some reporting before this article was published online.
First of all, when I read the headline, I was confused. Isn't a robbery and a "home invasion" ultimately the same thing? Just to double check, I checked Dictionary.com. Basically, to sum it up, a "home invasion" occurs when a burglary takes place "while the residents are at home;" and a "robbery" usually involves violence of some form during the burglary. I understand the slight difference; however, the headline doesn't really give me a story. A home invasion and a robbery aren't particularly uncommon things in Iowa City. There really isn't an angle. Maybe a headline that took a more investigative approach would have been better. If this following statement is true, something along the lines of, "Police: Robberies highest in decade," or something that really gives readers more information than just "Robbery, home invasion reported." This is more of a statement than a news headline or story in itself. This would have been better suited to a little blurb on a police blogger.
When it comes to the actual story and information, the article was a bit dry. The information is interesting, but the reporter didn't seem to do any work to get it. The article reads like a police report because it just says what allegedly happened. The reporter did no crafting to this article--it read like word vomit. It was strictly informational and therefore heavy and boring. Even with a story about robberies, a reporter can still frame the story in an interesting way to keep readers reading. Reporters need to do their jobs so that readers can do theirs, i.e. reporters need to do some reporting, rather than vomit up information given to them.
Along with this, the article has no interviews or quotes, not even from officers. The story obviously came from a police report or something. If this information was given to me as a reporter, I'd have found it interesting--so interesting that I wouldn't just vomit up the information, I'd attempt to actually report on these incidents. Interview people, see if there's a real pattern, go deeper than the obvious. There is no real news value because no reporting was done by the "reporter."
Editorially speaking, I want to know why the races of the robbers were included. I could see it being important if officers are still looking for the suspects. But in all of the robbery examples, the reporter notes the suspects' races, but he does not elaborate on the alleged victims' races. There were also photos attached to this story. The last robbery example gave the alleged suspect's name, though the reporter declined to give his race. This is important because the previously mentioned suspects were described in detail.
All-in-all, this story was really disappointing. I wish the reporter had actually done some reporting before this article was published online.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Please Permanently Prohibit Perpetually Preposterous Headlines
The focus of this short blog entry concerns publications that rely on alliteration as their form of creativity in their headlines. On April 6, 2010, an online publication called channel3000.com published an article about panhandling in Madison, Wis. I was not overly impressed with the story, perhaps due-in-part to the story's headline: "Peace Park Poses Panhandling Problem." I think the real problem wasn't the panhandling, it was how the p's were handled in the headline.
Along these lines, the Cedar Rapids Gazette posted an article online on April 5 that ironically also used the alliteration of p's. Entitled, "Man charged for prostitution, porn and pot," the short story focused on one man who showed nude photos to a 15-year-old male, attempted to trade money for sexual acts with the boy and also provided marijuana to him on several occasions. The problem with this story was the fact that the real focus of the story was scrambled by the headline. According to the article, the man was arrested for these things because the child was 15. The wording of the headline makes it seem that the man was charged for prostitution, porn and pot. Although this is true, the focus should have been on the fact that the man did these things to and for a child. This becomes lost by the writer's alliteration headline.
Both articles attempted to be quirky in their headlines by highlighting the harsh p sound. The problem therein lies. "Peace Park Poses Panhandling Problem" is too much alliteration for the headline because of the harsh p sound. A person probably couldn't say this headline aloud without laughing or pausing for breath somewhere. At least the man charged with "prostitution, porn and pot" headline flows nicely, or at least better than the other.
I have no problem with alliteration; I use it quite frequently. The problem I have with it, however, occurs when writers force alliteration. If a person uses it, it should flow and add to the story's overall effect. It shouldn't hinder the reader's comprehension of the story or the story's effectiveness.
So, in conclusion:
Dear "writers,"
Please permanently prohibit further use of preposterous problematic alliteration from your headlines. You make my ears bleed. On behalf of the people of my country... refrain!
Thank you,
Mallory Cole
Along these lines, the Cedar Rapids Gazette posted an article online on April 5 that ironically also used the alliteration of p's. Entitled, "Man charged for prostitution, porn and pot," the short story focused on one man who showed nude photos to a 15-year-old male, attempted to trade money for sexual acts with the boy and also provided marijuana to him on several occasions. The problem with this story was the fact that the real focus of the story was scrambled by the headline. According to the article, the man was arrested for these things because the child was 15. The wording of the headline makes it seem that the man was charged for prostitution, porn and pot. Although this is true, the focus should have been on the fact that the man did these things to and for a child. This becomes lost by the writer's alliteration headline.
Both articles attempted to be quirky in their headlines by highlighting the harsh p sound. The problem therein lies. "Peace Park Poses Panhandling Problem" is too much alliteration for the headline because of the harsh p sound. A person probably couldn't say this headline aloud without laughing or pausing for breath somewhere. At least the man charged with "prostitution, porn and pot" headline flows nicely, or at least better than the other.
I have no problem with alliteration; I use it quite frequently. The problem I have with it, however, occurs when writers force alliteration. If a person uses it, it should flow and add to the story's overall effect. It shouldn't hinder the reader's comprehension of the story or the story's effectiveness.
So, in conclusion:
Dear "writers,"
Please permanently prohibit further use of preposterous problematic alliteration from your headlines. You make my ears bleed. On behalf of the people of my country... refrain!
Thank you,
Mallory Cole
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Resurrecting Road-Kill, Take One
On March, 26, 2010, CNN.com posted a very short, comical story about a man who unsuccessfully attempted to revive a dead opossum in Pennsylvania. Apparently, the man was heavily intoxicated at the time. Donald J. Wolfe, 55, is to be charged with one count of public drunkenness.
The tone of CNN's article is meant to be humorous. Unfortunately, the humor was a bit dry. The tale is hilarious; the delivery...not so much.
The headline reads, "Police report attempt to revive flattened opossum." A person has to read this line several times before they understand the meaning, or at least that's what I had to do. I know the headline is meant to read that police reported this incident; however, with the words "police" and "report," I think of an official "police report." I was confused and thought the headline was mistyped. The headline writer should have been more clear. Also, considering the context of the story, the headline could have been more clever to ensure readers understood the hilarity of the situation immediately--something that lets readers know a drunk man made a fool of himself by trying to "save" some road-kill. That's what makes the story funny. Since CNN did not fully write to the hilarity of the situation, something such as "Man charged with public drunkenness after unsuccessfully attempting to revive a road-killed opossum," would have gotten the story across right away. Or to simplify: "Man charged after attempting roadkill resurrection."
The first graphs says, "A Pennsylvania man attempted to resuscitate 'a road-killed opossum,' state police say." A reader might imagine this to refer to a kind man who hit an animal and tried to save it! How nice!
But the next graph reads, "But this was one possum who wasn't playing possum -- the ugly creature remained dead." Obviously the creature was dead; where's the surprise? The first graph already called it ROAD-KILL. The writer's attempt to be humorous was short-lived. I understand the writer wanted to play off the old saying of "playing opossum," in which a being pretends to be dead in order to stay alive. Perhaps if this idea had been incorporated into the headline or the first graphs, the outcome would have been better.
Readers don't find out WHY the man attempted to revive the dead animal until the third graph. "Troopers responding to the scene in Oliver Township on Thursday determined that Donald J. Wolfe, 55, of Brookville, was drunk, according to the police report." Funny, right? Not exactly--the "drunk" part is buried in the sentence. The general rule-of-thumb is to write the 5 W's (who, what, where, when and why) in the first graph. And since the story is about a drunk man who tried to revive road-kill, the "why" is important. The "why" is the story.
The story, as customary with most CNN articles, includes a "STORY HIGHLIGHTS" section to the left of the story. The problem with this is that it gives the whole story. It contains the three sentences that sum up the story, which has only eight sentences itself.
One of the most intriguing questions concerning this tale is HOW the man tried to save this creature. The only thing that would complete the hilarious tone is that he tried to give the dead opossum mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. That would complete the story. Unfortunately for readers, the article does not say how the man attempted the revival of the animal. "It was not immediately clear how he endeavored to restore the possum's life," CNN says. Did CNN not ask anyone? Right before this sentence, CNN says that according to police, "Several witnesses observed Wolfe's failed resurrection of the flattened marsupial." People saw the man doing it, which is why police were alerted in the first place. Where's the reporting?
CNN also says that they were unable to reach the arresting officer or the man for comment. Reporters are taught to GO to people if they don't answer the phone. Come on, CNN, really?
CNN ended the story by saying the man will be charged with public drunkenness. This is important, I think. Maybe headline or first graph worthy. Even if CNN still chose to use this information to be in the last graph, they could have added something about the unfortunate opossum too. This would bring the story fully back to the funny part about the whole thing. "Wolfe will be charged with one charge of public drunkenness, police said. The opossum will be removed from the road." Something along those lines would have been a better ending to the story.
The tone of CNN's article is meant to be humorous. Unfortunately, the humor was a bit dry. The tale is hilarious; the delivery...not so much.
The headline reads, "Police report attempt to revive flattened opossum." A person has to read this line several times before they understand the meaning, or at least that's what I had to do. I know the headline is meant to read that police reported this incident; however, with the words "police" and "report," I think of an official "police report." I was confused and thought the headline was mistyped. The headline writer should have been more clear. Also, considering the context of the story, the headline could have been more clever to ensure readers understood the hilarity of the situation immediately--something that lets readers know a drunk man made a fool of himself by trying to "save" some road-kill. That's what makes the story funny. Since CNN did not fully write to the hilarity of the situation, something such as "Man charged with public drunkenness after unsuccessfully attempting to revive a road-killed opossum," would have gotten the story across right away. Or to simplify: "Man charged after attempting roadkill resurrection."
The first graphs says, "A Pennsylvania man attempted to resuscitate 'a road-killed opossum,' state police say." A reader might imagine this to refer to a kind man who hit an animal and tried to save it! How nice!
But the next graph reads, "But this was one possum who wasn't playing possum -- the ugly creature remained dead." Obviously the creature was dead; where's the surprise? The first graph already called it ROAD-KILL. The writer's attempt to be humorous was short-lived. I understand the writer wanted to play off the old saying of "playing opossum," in which a being pretends to be dead in order to stay alive. Perhaps if this idea had been incorporated into the headline or the first graphs, the outcome would have been better.
Readers don't find out WHY the man attempted to revive the dead animal until the third graph. "Troopers responding to the scene in Oliver Township on Thursday determined that Donald J. Wolfe, 55, of Brookville, was drunk, according to the police report." Funny, right? Not exactly--the "drunk" part is buried in the sentence. The general rule-of-thumb is to write the 5 W's (who, what, where, when and why) in the first graph. And since the story is about a drunk man who tried to revive road-kill, the "why" is important. The "why" is the story.
The story, as customary with most CNN articles, includes a "STORY HIGHLIGHTS" section to the left of the story. The problem with this is that it gives the whole story. It contains the three sentences that sum up the story, which has only eight sentences itself.
One of the most intriguing questions concerning this tale is HOW the man tried to save this creature. The only thing that would complete the hilarious tone is that he tried to give the dead opossum mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. That would complete the story. Unfortunately for readers, the article does not say how the man attempted the revival of the animal. "It was not immediately clear how he endeavored to restore the possum's life," CNN says. Did CNN not ask anyone? Right before this sentence, CNN says that according to police, "Several witnesses observed Wolfe's failed resurrection of the flattened marsupial." People saw the man doing it, which is why police were alerted in the first place. Where's the reporting?
CNN also says that they were unable to reach the arresting officer or the man for comment. Reporters are taught to GO to people if they don't answer the phone. Come on, CNN, really?
CNN ended the story by saying the man will be charged with public drunkenness. This is important, I think. Maybe headline or first graph worthy. Even if CNN still chose to use this information to be in the last graph, they could have added something about the unfortunate opossum too. This would bring the story fully back to the funny part about the whole thing. "Wolfe will be charged with one charge of public drunkenness, police said. The opossum will be removed from the road." Something along those lines would have been a better ending to the story.
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